Following the initial story of bursting the bubble, I am going to share another experience that changed my life.

Growing in a small town in the eastern long-underfinanced Romania, in a middle-working-class family, who turned poor after the communist revolution, was not easy. I developed some frustrations of not having what other kids around me had.

I was very good in school, especially in math. That was my refuge. I started to make money from early age, doing other kids’ homeworks. Got to do something to buy those nice sneakers, right?

And when I was 18, I started Computer Science faculty with no background in computers, knowing nothing about technology and not having a computer at home. So, quite a difficult start. I just wanted a career to give me something more than I could achieve in a small town.

While in college, I started to discover technology and be passionate about programming. I felt fulfillment coding my first app, my first website, my first game. And I’ve seen them working (buggy and clumpsy, but working) and used by other people. It felt so good and rewarding.

Finishing Computer Science in the early 2000’s provided me with plenty of opportunities. I traveled the world, I was having access to any new trend in technology, changing jobs and industries so easily. Riding the wave!

And when changing jobs, I was always looking for more money, for status and self-validation (looking back, I know this came from my childhood frustrations, but back then it all made sense for me). I progressed financially to a level I never thought I could reach. I had things I never thought I could have when I was a child.

I was now in my early 30’s, married, my daughter was one year old at that time. I had a very well-paid job. I believed I had everything I needed, everything I hoped for.

UNTIL ONE DAY…

I collapsed and ended up in hospital. My blood tests were a mess, I was fatigued. The doctors told me I was in burn out and having an early-stage depresion. I could not understand the word or state of depression. I was considered to be a happy guy. I was in absolut denial and pushing back to the diagnostics.

At some point, I took some days off to reflect on this. Being always on the run and in the middle of the whirlwind, I did not notice what was gradually happening to me.

I was working extremly long hours. With people I did not share the same values and not enjoying their company. I did not have time for my family, for my friends, for my hobbies anymore. I was paid generous amount of money, but I did not have time or will to enjoy it.

I felt trapped, I felt like in a cage. On one hand I wanted to keep the same financial level and continue providing for my family. On the other hand, I was far from being healthy. And I was far from being happy, which I realized after a few years of transition.

And this turmoil reminded me of Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s search for Meaning” and a special quote in there that I haven’t followed and lived by lately – “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing – the freedom to choose their path“. That was intriguing. I just took the book and re-read it in one single day. Once finished, I said to myself: “Lucian, let’s get back in control of our life and live it in your own way, a happy one, like it used to be when you were a kid“.

I return to my job the next day just to hand in my notice. I quit my job having nothing lined up in front of me. That felt refreshing and scary at the same time.

And here I was – unemployed. Exactly like my parents 20 years ago. But this time, IT WAS MY CHOICE.

And I just realized: money is important, but it’s not everything. Life and meaning in life are more than that. Life and meaning in life are beyond social status and how important we are perceived in a community. Our health, our happiness, our relationships, our meaning in life are beyond a job, money, status.

I learnt the importance of balancing my priorities in my life by sacrificing my health and my relationships with my dear ones. Funny thing how moments of true learning and revelation come when we allow ourselves to put harmful ideas and contexts behind us…

I then promised myself to look for things and experiences that really make me happy. And be surrounded by people I enjoy being with. Finding purpose and meaning in my life instead of money or status. And after more than 10 years from that event, I am very happy and proud to have had the strength to take that tough decision and search for my meaning instead of remaining trapped in a toxic environment just for the money.

Photo: https://zfunds.in/m/how-much-money-is-enough