I believe it’s improper to say “you own a dog” the same way it’s improper to say “you own a kid”. I do have a dog, a 2-year-old Border Collie. And basically, I don’t have him, we have each other.

But if you have a dog, or if you’re a dog lover, this article makes more sense for you.

I am a morning person. Usually, by 6am I am up & running, all showered and caffeinated. And when I open the door to the courtyard, there he is, my lovely boy: eyes wide open, wagging tail, and honestly, I could see a smile on his face, though I think it’s all in my head 😊 Or not…

Those eyes, that joy. And it’s every time, no matter if it rains or it’s cold outside, or a very hot summer day. Or I have done something wrong to him like shouting at him or finger pointing him. He is there, eyes wide open, wagging tail with a smile on his face. Always forgiving, always waiting, always happy to see me.

Those eyes. The way he looks at me. Like I’m the best person in the world. And that look and those eyes make me every morning think of what I can do better, how I can help others and for me to be a better person.

In these 2 years we’ve been together, I learned something.

LESSON ONE – TRUE EMPATHY AND KINDNESS

I have seen senior people in senior leadership roles mimicking empathy. Listening to you, nodding, and saying repeatedly “Yes, I do understand you”. But do they really? As I see no follow ups, no changes in their behavior towards people they listen to, nothing. It’s just a feel-good interaction for 30 minutes while they fake empathy and make you feel good for a second. “Fake it till you make it”, they say.  But people are not stupid and can feel false empathy at some point. “Fool me once, shame on you, fool my twice shame on me” – we figure it out at some point and we just isolate ourselves from false empathic people. Hope you do because I am doing this 😊

Anyway, back to the doggie.

My father passed away January this year. It was all of a sudden, unexpectedly. We visited my parents last Christmas together with the doggo, just one month before he died. For sure he knew something, for sure he was hiding it from us.

And here it was, the Border Collie covering my dad with his melancholic joy, all the time in his arms, in his lap, walking alongside him. He’s never done that. And we were happy that finally they became friends.

It was a month later, we figured it out the reason why Oscar (yes, that’s doggy’s name) was covering him with love and empathy, being so kind to him. Like saying: “I know you’re in pain, but here I am, full open heart for you. Pet me, hug me, it will make you feel better“. I know for sure my dad enjoyed that time together, I saw him happy, laughing and hugging someone for the last time.

I have seen great business leaders, visionary ones, who can define strategies and implement them by the book. No feelings, just business. A bit of empathy, of bit humanity and kindness – that’s all it takes to become a great leader, not just a business leader. So that people can really feel you’re there for them, not a listening machine.

LESSON TWO – CHARISMA, COURAGE AND ACCOUNTABILITY FOR POOR DECISIONS

My dog is brilliant. Charismatic as hell, with a strong personality. And no matter how much money I’ve spent with his training, he kept his personality. I love that at him. Stubborn but submissive when the case. And he’s fearless. He usually knows when to go wild. But sometimes he doesn’t. He just feels it’s the right thing to do to be bold and take chances. And 90% of the time he’s right. He takes the best decisions ever. But sometimes, he just messes up. And it’s enough one single look from me for him to understand he was wrong. And I can see in his eyes that he understands, he takes accountability, tail between the legs and back to his crate for half an hour until we become friends again. But before we become friends again, he slowly gets his nose and eyes out of the crate staring at me for a sign of forgiveness 😊

You can’t be a leader if you can’t take decisions. And there are people trying to get 100% of the information before they can take a decision. One – you’ll never have 100% of the information. Two – it may become too late to take a decision when you have enough information to take a decision. Indecision is worse than a bad decision.

So often, as a good doggie, we need to take decisions based on a set of information we have at that time, but using our instinct, our gut feeling. An instinct which gets better each time we mess up.

LESSON THREE – WHO LEADS WHO

I often see people saying “I own a dog, I am walking my dog in the park, I am leading my dog”. But do they really? I believe it’s a partnership between a dog and a human. Nobody leads anybody. It’s a symbiosis which works, fulfilling each other needs. Sometimes, I need to get somewhere fast while he walks alongside me. But he’s joyful, stopping by and sniffing everything, playing with other dogs and I have to be a bit tougher in voice and action so that he follows.

Other times, I am just wandering around, headsets on, with my thoughts floating around my head like in a Brownian motion and I just follow him. He knows best how to lead me in those moments.

Like in a team – there are times when the leader takes decisions which are not necessarily popular, but they’re the right ones, and times when the team decides what’s best for them and the leader follows the team’s decision.

LESSON FOUR – Better planning of the day. Each day. Yes, weekends included

I developed daily routines, in the morning and in the evening. No lazy times, no excuses. We need to walk and run together. It was a pain in the beginning. Who wants to run in a morning rain? Who wants to go outside on a January evening at -5 instead of having a nice glass of red wine after a long workday? Not me.

But a boy has his needs, and he needs his active time. And I have to follow.

It did not take long to start enjoying the time we spend together. His joy is contagious. Same as his energy. Like a drug, you always come back for more. Running in the park and in the woods. Fresh air, a bit of sport and joy of being together, high-quality endorphins.

So nowadays, I’m planning my entire day around these activities. Strictly, no excuse to be lazy anymore and with hard stops when i need to. I know when my day starts, and I know when my work finishes.

I was mentioning that glass of red wine. That’s not missing, but it’s just after our time together has finished.

It’s like in a team. Without a plan and without having fun time together, there’s no team. It may be a group of people working together towards a goal. But without a plan and a bit of fun, it easily becomes a pain and a stress.

I don’t personally believe in a 9-to-6 job. If it’s only a job without fun and interpersonal connections, then you may be better running off. Work needs to have a social element to it. Yes, we’re all incentivized by the end goal and impact, but we work alongside other people, and we need to feel good together, right? We spend too much time at work. Why don’t we make it fun?

And in closing, my favorite British comedian Ricky Gervais talking about dogs (I do hope you watched his Netflix show Afterlife).